3 Things a Leader Should NEVER Do…

Front view portrait of three business executivesIn my last post, I gave you 3 things you can do TODAY to be a more effective leader.

Now for what NOT to do:

#1 Fail to walk the walk: “Do as I say…” works on two year old kids, but not for long.

Lead by example and make sure your words stand on a foundation of action.

#2. Lie: Leadership depends on trust.

A dictator can lie- provided he has the necessary resources to ensure compliance by force and coercion.

The leader’s most valuable commodity is trust, and that is only earned through honesty.

#3 Forget that the leader is a servant: Be the Sensei!

The Sensei is recognized as a leader only through service to the students. As a leader, you are a teacher and mentor- you must serve your followers by sharing your courage, compassion, wisdom and…power.

You just can’t do it all by yourself! Your power only expands through sharing.

Your ability to lead depends absolutely on the trust and loyalty of your followers. If people are not following you of their own free will, you’re not a leader- you’re a dictator.

The difference is simple.

When the going gets tough, the leader can count on loyal followers.

The dictator is fighting off the coup.

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3 things you can do TODAY to become an effective leader…and the world needs better leaders!

Jim with State Representative Kerri Prescott at the State House. Kerri served two terms- and holds a Black Belt!

Jim with State Representative Kerri Prescott at the State House in Augusta, Maine. Kerri honorably served two terms- and holds a Black Belt! She recognized Jim’s work in 2010 by declaring Black Belt Recognition Day in Maine with a proclamation from the legislature and the Governor.

Leadership is your ability to attract willing followers. Effective leaders attract followers by their words and actions- which must be consistent.

For years I asked young students in my Leadership Team program to define the qualities of an effective leader. I’ve had the honor to validate these qualities with some very impressive people in the leadership community.

The 3 most essential qualities of a leader are:

  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Wisdom

If you want to be an effective leader, dedicate yourself to personal growth and development in each area…

Courage: Practice doing what’s tough.

Show others that you’re willing to do what is right, even when it’s not necessarily expedient or profitable in the short term.

Demonstrate your willingness to face challenges and adversity- even when…especially when you’re afraid.

Compassion: Develop your capacity to understand and respond to the needs of others.

This doesn’t mean “going soft.” It means genuine empathy- understanding the needs and concerns of others.

You can only serve others in a meaningful way when you understand them. That’s genuine compassion.

Wisdom: Know your Self and others through learning, experience and awareness.

Knowledge alone does not guarantee wisdom- neither does time. Awareness is the constant process of assessing one’s knowledge and experience in the context of the present moment.

That’s “awareness.”

Wisdom is a continual process- not a static point. Wisdom is not a diploma on the wall or a certificate from a leadership retreat.

Wisdom is the never-ending process of mindfulness and your ability to adapt to ever-changing circumstances and conditions that comes from self-awareness, knowledge and experience.

Let’s frame all this in the form of 3 action steps.

Here are 3 things you can do TODAY to become a more effective leader:

1. Do what is right and necessary even when it’s tough: Courage

2. Dedicate yourself to the principle that authentic leadership is service to others: Compassion

3. Embrace the never-ending process of self-perfection: Wisdom

There are really only two types of people in the world- leaders and followers. Right now, we need more leaders.

Friday we’ll talk about 3 things you should NOT be doing…if you want to be an effective leader!

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SPECIAL POST: On the Boston Bombings- Keep Your Heart Open and Your Mouth Shut…at least for a few days

Two of my favorite people...My brother Walter and my wife Alex.

Two of my favorite people…My brother Walter and my wife Alex.

Yesterday’s attack on Boston struck very close to home…

Shortly after the reports came in, I found out that my brother had been at the exact location of the bombing just 15 minutes before the first explosion. His girlfriend had just finished the race and they had walked two blocks away when they heard the blast.

I knew that many of my friends went to the marathon and we were scrambling for news. Gratefully, all those I knew were safe.

It is natural to feel gratitude when you find out those closest to you are safe. It is also natural to feel anger with more intensity when violence is directed at those you know personally.

So knock off the rhetoric about how we should feel this badly when any attack happens anywhere in the world. It’s part of our genetic make-up and a survival mechanism that we are able to remove ourselves to some degree when violence is not as intimate. It is appropriate to respond with sympathy for any victims of violence- it is just as appropriate to feel more when violence strikes close to home…

And put down the pitchforks and torches…

Stop the premature condemnations of the right/left-wing nut jobs-zealots-radicals who are “obviously” responsible.

Whether right or left, the salient word is “nuts.” If this is indeed the cowardly act of a zealot, then condemnation should be directed at that extreme mindset, not at the majority of people who hold a particular political view.

There is nothing radical about people who are dedicated to the original intent and spirit of the founders. Neither is there anything particularly radical about those who are dedicated to social change.

Any radical who attacks innocent people to make a point should be condemned- in every sense of the word.

We’re not there yet…

And don’t assume the person or persons responsible for this attack are nuts.

It is entirely plausible that the perpetrators of this attack are rational people dedicated to some particular cause, nation or ideology. It is dangerous to label such people “nuts.”

Nuts act irrationally. Their actions are difficult if not impossible to predict.

Extremists who are dedicated to a cause may be acting entirely rationally- from their perspective. It requires an entirely different set of tactics to deal with highly-motivated, well-trained militants.

The only appropriate response, in either case, is a considered response…once all the facts are in. That response may be brutal, but must be just and well reasoned.

In this age of Tweets and Facebook posts, everyone has access to a new form of mass media. Anyone can broadcast his most visceral rants to the entire world.

So be it- just remember that others are judging you by your reaction today.

I play a game with my young students to help them focus on what it takes to develop true understanding…

I call out, “Eyes!” They respond, “OPEN!”

“Ears?” “OPEN!”

“Mind!” “OPEN!”

“Heart!” “OPEN!”

“Mouth?” “SHUT!”

Not a bad idea for today…

Black Belt Leadership: Trust and Compassion

Four business executives having meeting in boardroomAccording to a new report by Chad Brooks in the FOXBusiness.com Small Business Center:

“While they may be charged with leading their companies, business executives still have plenty of room for improvement when it comes to their leadership skills, a new study finds.

“Research from communications firm Ketchum revealed that just 34 percent of consumers worldwide view business chiefs as effective leaders and only 35 percent believe they are effective communicators.”

It’s interesting to point out that the title of this article was “Employees More Trusted Than Managers.”

Leadership should not be restricted to the top brass, but those at the top should certainly demonstrate the qualities of effective leadership. A leader is someone with the ability to attract willing followers- and perception of trust plays a big part in that ability.

In THINK Like a BLACK BELT I shared 3 essential qualities of Leadership:

  • Courage
  • Compassion
  • Wisdom

Let’s focus on compassion…

From THINK Like a BLACK BELT:

“Compassion is the selfless quality of concern for others. Without compassion, the leader becomes a dictator.

“As a leader, power is your ability to act effectively to help others realize true success and happiness. The greatest leaders have always placed their concerns for the welfare of others in equal, if not superior priority, to their own benefit.

“The dictator crosses the line to where his own benefits outweigh those of the people who trust and follow him.”

To be effective, a leader must be perceived as placing the needs of followers as a top priority.

Granted, it’s not always easy to preserve this perception, especially when tough decisions have to be made. And- it’s not always fair to paint a leader as lacking compassion because he or she has to execute those tough decisions.

However…

Perception is not usually based on an isolated event, unless the leader is disconnected from followers. That’s why the study Brooks cites shows a correlation between lack of communication skill and effective leadership.

Communication is a key expression of caring and compassion. If you care, and you want people to know you care- you’ve got to let them know. More important, they’ve got to know you’re listening- to their needs, concerns and desires.

Compassion is important internally, and externally as an expression of your brand.

Back to the article:

“‘In 2012, we found that leadership credibility hinged on a combination of open and transparent communication, decisive action and the personal presence of the leader,’ said Rod Cartwright, partner and director of Ketchum’s Global Corporate Practice. ‘With the crisis of leadership and communication continuing to have a direct commercial impact, our 2013 study shows that this formula for establishing meaningful, authentic leadership remains as robust as ever and will only grow in importance over the coming decade.’”

The trust of consumers, employees and peers is earned. Compassion- an expression of sincere caring for the welfare of others, is essential in building that trust.

And that trust is the mark of an effective leader.

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Should you trust the message even when the messenger is not worthy of trust?

Zorba CoverI was shuffling through my archives and I came across a comment I posted some time ago in response to someone who was defending some new age self-help guru I had aggressively criticized.

If I remember right, I believe the person I was debating made the point that even if a guru is a crook, there may be truth in his or her message.

This was my response. Maybe you’ll find this useful- it might even save you a few bucks…

As a graduate of the proverbial School of Hard Knocks, I’m not one to throw rocks at glass houses. At the same time, if you’re going to talk the talk you’d better walk the walk.

You’re absolutely right. Embrace the message- but not the messenger!

Even people we think are most enlightened are above all…just people!

One of my great heroes in philosophy is the iconic character of Zorba the Greek created by Nikos Kazantzakis. Zorba personifies the perfect embrace of the human condition, the “full catastrophe” of the whole mess!

His lessons were:

Live life…

Do your best…

Get up when you fall…

Share what you can…

But most of all- don’t depend on someone else to make you whole spiritually!

Gurus are not supposed to be gods- they’re tour guides!

I won’t apologize if I offend, but I’m terribly sick of new age gurus who exploit others by promoting some idea that they have all the answers- for a price. Of course, they can also sell you the exemptions when their answers don’t work out.

I’m well aware of my flaws and imperfections- and I’m finding new ones every day! (I’m told that’s a blessing!) I certainly hope for myself that nobody categorizes me as a guru- you’d drive yourself nuts trying to live down to my standards!

As the old saying goes, there are many paths to the summit and many teachers of The Way. It’s up to each of us to find what resonates and to do our best in this frustrating, chaotic, dangerous, wonderful and exciting experience we call life.

There’s a beautiful saying I borrowed that I share every time we promote Black Belts. I wish I knew where it came from. I also wish more so-called teachers would fully understand these words…

“Before I was enlightened I carried my water and gathered my rice. 



“Now that I’m enlightened; I carry my water and gather my rice!” 

…if anyone knows who first said this- please enlighten me! 

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