I used to think there’s a fine line between authentic courage and outright cockiness. Now I believe the line is simply this: When you make it work you’re confident; when you blow your horn but can’t make it work — you’re cocky.
I wish I’d learned earlier about confidence. Lack of self-confidence was my biggest issue as a kid and as a young man. Fighting and martial arts helped me become more confident and helped me learn the process of developing authentic self-confidence.
When you step in the ring, you had better believe you’re the best fighter. In our hyper-politically correct, sanitized culture it’s often considered arrogant, rude and insensitive to talk the talk. At the same time, people who talk the talk are usually those who succeed, provided they can also walk the walk — and that’s the secret.
You’re probably not going to step into a boxing ring today. You are likely going to face stiff competition from other people in your chosen profession. You may be competing against other sales people, designers, cooks or small business operators. In today’s tight job market, you may simply be competing for the next available overnight shelf-stocking position.
Whatever the contest, the confident person has the edge…provided that confidence is authentic. Authentic confidence is not a surety of outcome; most confident people know that the fight can go either way. Authentic confidence is the surety that you’ve prepared yourself to the best of your ability for this fight. You know you’ve left nothing to chance. You know that you’ve studied and trained and put in the blood, sweat and tears and you deserve to be in this fight.
You also know that win or lose, you’ll dust yourself off, pick yourself up and start all over again. Confidence can’t guarantee the outcome, but it is the basis of perseverance and perseverance may be the most important component of success.
So, how does one develop confidence?
- Set attainable goals and go to work. Attainable goals at first because success does breed success. Later you’ll be able to handle failure with confidence too, but if you’re just starting this journey or you need a boost, set a goal in which you have a reasonable expectation of success and go for it.
- Pay attention to WHY you succeed…or fail. Confidence comes from knowledge and experience. You get the experience from just doing it. You get the knowledge from analyzing success and failure and adapting your next attempt accordingly.
- Knocked down? Get Up! In martial arts we say, “Knocked down seven times? Get up eight!” This is how one develops confidence from failure as well as success. You may have been bested today; take the experience and learn from it. Choose your next fight and start training for it.
Here’s a bonus: What you believe about yourself is much more important than what other people believe about you.
It’s important to accept sincere criticism; even if that criticism is sometimes painful. Sincere critics have your best interests at heart and truly want to see you succeed.
Then there are the detractors; those who for whatever motivation want to knock you down. They may be jealous, scared, ignorant or just plain negative. They may just be assholes! Ignore them.
There are no shortcuts to confidence and you’re not born with it. You’ve got to earn it. You’ve got to train continually to keep it.
Simple; not easy.
Over the past several years I promoted my “New Year Revolution” program to help focus and identify specific New Year goals. I was going to re-title this program, but doing so simply didn’t fit into my focused plan for success in 2012…I let it go.
HOWEVER…I will make this program available one more time under the old title for free, right now.
Just follow this link for the PDF manual and audio program…Use the password: NEWYEAR
START THE NEW YEAR WITH DISCIPLINE, FOCUS, CONFIDENCE AND COURAGE…THINK LIKE A BLACK BELT ON KINDLE FOR JUST $1.99 NOW!
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